Why We Should Stop Whining About the Oil Companies

It was inevitable.  Some of the rich oil executives testified before Congress, and immediately the smirking, self-righteous, moralizing looters appeared all over the airwaves: “Those rich bastards are fleecing us.  They’re greedy pigs trying to fill their bank accounts.  They don’t care about anything but money.  They’re making obscene profits while we suffer.”

Most unbelievable was this one: “They’re making too much money.”

No, most unbelievable is the fact that there are many Americans out there who wouldn’t understand my shock and disgust at such a statement.  “What are you saying?” they’d ask.  “They are making too much money.”

What does that even mean?  How do you make too much money?  Who is going to dictate how much is too much?  Who’s going to decide that it’s wrong to make more than a certain dollar amount in a year?  If you’re making money, you’re earning it, and the phrase “earning too much” is an oxymoron.

Big Oil makes about ten cents of profit for every dollar they sell.  That’s not bad, but it’s by no means excessive, even by the sniveling standards of those who are jealous of other peoples’ success.  Big Oil makes so much money not because their profit margins are huge, but because their sales are huge.  Software companies like Microsoft make something like forty cents profit for every dollar.  How about turning your attention to them now?

Of course, we don’t need software like we need oil.  People have to drive to work.  But people also need to eat, and no one’s complaining about the high food prices.  No one’s forcing you to consume like you do.  There are choices you can make.  Fuel-efficient cards are cheap and, well, efficient.  If Americans started conserving a little bit every day, the oil companies would be forced to drop their prices.  If Americans started buying diesel vehicles, prices would also go down.  Christ, car-pooling is a better solution than asking the government to step in.  But rather than making choices about how to handle this issue, they want the government to come and burp them and make all the bad things go away – the same government who has done exactly zero to give us energy independence.  What makes you think they can do any better with regulation?

Has America stooped to putting a limit on success?  Try as hard as you want, run a profitable business, but as soon as you start to get too rich and too successful, watch out.  The mewling little babies whose only accomplishment in life is to legislate away the success of others to fill their pockets are coming for you.  You produce, they take.  You work for yourself, and they tell you that it’s immoral.  You enjoy the money you’ve earned, and they tell you that it’s your “social duty” to give it to others so they can enjoy it instead.

And then there’s Bill O’Reilly’s plan:  Any time an oil company decides to raise its prices, it must submit a written reason why to Congress.  Hey O’Reilly, suppose the reason is: “Because I want to make more profit.”  What then?  Will Big Oil have to provide a “good” reason to Congress for raising their prices?  Will they be disallowed from raising their prices without government permission?  Where do we cross the line into nationalizing the oil industry?

Here’s a simple solution:  Let’s make pricing a collaborative effort between the people who own the company and the people who want to buy the product.  Yeah, how about we pass legislation that oil companies can only charge what their customers decide they can reasonably afford?  How about every customer just goes into a store, picks out what they want, and leaves on the counter whatever amount they think is a fair price?  Doesn’t that sound wonderful?  Doesn’t that sound fair?  It won’t even be communism – we can just call it the “honor system.”